Valentine’s Cards: Video Games Edition

By Dr. G

Marketing comes in many forms.  Companies latch on to anything that will make you think about there product.  This Valentine’s Day is no different.  The outcomes of this are varied.  Lets take a look at some of the best and worst Valentine’s Day cards video game companies have to offer this year.


Play Nintendo


In elementary school Valentine’s Day is an excuse to have candy and secretly market your favored toy, game, movie, cartoon, and such to your friends.  As a kid you never realize this is what you are doing.  Nintendo has latched onto this and made some great printable cards.  These are light-hearted and silly.  I don’t think they should feature Tingle in anything associated with children but I guess he just really left a bad first impression.  And a second.  And basically every impression ever.(Side note I know I am bias but Ganon is the best dressed person in Hyrule).


Nintendo is not limited to there old standbys.  Splatoon is one of their newest IPs so it seems all the kids will want to give heart shaped chalk(some claim it is candy) do there friends attached to these cards.  The obvious winner here is Jud the Cat.  In fact he should have had two entries because no one, I mean no one, wants a Captain Cuttlefish card.  Crabby Cakes!?  Really?  The only other weird card is Ink-credible.  Later on we will see worse examples of this but if you aiming for kids cards do we really want angry looking pictures?


Animal Crossings makes the most sense for these kinds of cards.  Everyone says cute, sorta nonsensical things in the game all the time.  Still Nook would only say this at the start of a date night where he up sold you into a triple mortgage.


EA Valentine’s Day


EA’s strategy was similar to Nintendo.  Take some of there (sorta) current games and make cute little cards.  Here this works very well for Unravle which was released just a few days ago.  Who wouldn’t like this cute little yarn guy.


After that there cards just get weird.  Who associates positive feelings with an Inquisition?


Then we have this gem.  The original Mirror’s Edge came out over 6 years ago.  Even if you know the game you also have to remember the main characters name is Faith.  A squeal is coming out soon but still this seems kinda week.  An more importantly in this game you jump off buildings and do crazy parkour stuff.  How they couldn’t spend a little more time to come up with something like “You make my heart beat faster than a 100 story drop”(That was also terrible but I am not being paid)


And then we have this guy.  I actually think the words here are clever and the heart drawing is pretty cool.  On the other hand this misses the whole point.  This card has to already exist.  EA does not own Soccer(Football for our international readers).  The point of these print cards is the store doesn’t have anything like these.  I am positive there is a soccer card out there and now I think I need to go hunt it down.  Also this might be the most boring pose they could have picked for this guy.


Destiny Twitter


The last set of cards we are looking at today are from Bungie.  I really like Bungie and enjoy there games so these cards should be right up my ally.  This first card works well because they have a Valentine’s Day event going on where you have to work with one other person you know.


Then we get into the craziness.  “I’m Burning for you”  That seems on par with other cards but why is this guy throwing a hammer at the reader?  Is this a good burning or a consult your doctor burning?  This potential violence seems out of place.  But it must be the only one right?


Nope it just gets worse.  “I’ve got you in my sights, Valentine!”  What?  This could be taken badly on so many levels.  Most cards as if you want to be somone’s Valentine.  Also this isn’t just a figurative “sights” it is literal.  “I’m watching you.  And may kill you.”


And last but not least we have this.  Again the words are fine but look at the picture.  This is obviously a bad relationship.  I have a feeling that after handing you the card as you read it the giver will shoot you with a taser gun.

So as you decide to pic cards for your loved ones(or fellow classmates) this year try and remember Valentine’s Day is about love not war.

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